Today I ordered the first massive offensive against the debt that needs to be destroyed. It was a final minute decision, but once I saw the situation at its present form, I decided that there is no turning back at this point. This has been delayed since March; a monstrous delay in my opinion. So in a few days I will find out how much the total is applied to the actual amount due and I will base immediate decisions after that. There is no turning back from this.

The beach retreat to Cape Cod had to be moved to the middle to the end of the week, third week of August. Then another retreat to the coast of New Jersey the last week of August going into September. This will be a good time to rethink things and re-organize.
Next week I fly out to the midwest for the wedding, and I shall be glad when this is all over. It has been draining and stressful. The event has been plagued by guest cancelations but I say that this is the consequence of having an event in such short notice (less than 8 months) and having it in the middle of nowhere. I spent a fortune on travel expenses only to be there for a day! But at the same time, I know that both sides of this are being selfish. But I am happy at the end of the day for my brother, that is what he wants.

The world continues to spiral out of control, so I have decided to surround myself in a cloud of marijuana until further notice, but of course, this has to be done in moderation. I do not want things to be very obvious.

Work continues to be work, and nothing else. Drama here and there, but as long as I stay away from it, I will be unscathed.
This week is very busy with extra curricular non work related events; birthday event on Thursday at the theater and a birthday party at the lounge on Friday night. Well. These things don’t happen often so of course we are obliged to attend. And it will be a good distraction anyway.

Herr Doctor has contacted me for help with computer software. But it is I who will have to look up tutorials before I help. He has offered to pay me, to which I said “What nonsense!” but there was no convincing him otherwise. I have been thinking of how much I will miss him when he eventually departs…he is of age. It will break my heart. He has been a soul that I have been connected with for a very long time. A unique soul that understands me…and those are rare to find in this god forsake country, this god forsaken world.

Is there ever any salvation from it all?

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