Nobody has to care about what I write; these are only my own thoughts. The over thinking continues to ruin my relationship. I need to look up techniques on how to control over thinking. There is yoga, music, sleeping, and conversation with others. But I have to find something to do when I am alone. Writing here helps me a lot; as long as I can remember, writing has been a tremendous outlet for me.
Work continues to keep me busy, although I do wish that I was busier. It is always good to be busy and constantly on the move, no matter where I travel to within the assigned region of the state. Hopefully, in time, more work will come my way.
Thinking about taking some time to myself to figure out what I would like out of my relationship. Every time him and I talk, I know that we have a special bond. I have not created something special with anyone before…not even guys that were similar to me. Went out for a walk today and was thinking about a particular person that I had a connection with in terms of thought processes and hobbies. The very next, he disappeared. During a discussion with my boyfriend, he pointed out to me that these guys only wanted me for sex, and that once they found out that I was looking for a genuine connection, they ran away. This guy was one of those people. When I think about all of the guys that I have gone on dates with, nobody has connected with me the way that my boyfriend and I connected. Our relationship just seems to work, despite our differences. Yes, there are normal clashes here and there, but for the most part, we get along very well. Most (but not all) of our issues are a byproduct of my over thinking. He has been no saint. I am glad that he has taken the time to explain himself to me regarding the times when I questioned him about certain views and topics. The fact that he is still with me despite everything I have done, is the definition of true love. He really has shown me that true love is real. I don’t want to question anything anymore, I know that when we put out minds to it, we get through whatever obstacles we are facing. Nobody can predict the future, and nobody can predict if this relationship will be successful in the end, but what is known is that we both want to be with one another, and will do anything to make things work.

The walk I took today was a part of the new effort to be more active when I am home from work and not simply lay on my bed, which takes away all of my energy. I have to get rid of that bad habbit. It was chilly, and the school fields were occupied, so I went back in about half an hour, which was a satisfactory time for a walk in these conditions. But once the warm weather arrives, it will be very important to go back to the trails. I am still going along with my plan of trying to engage my boyfriend in trying new things, and if it fails tremendously, I just don’t think I could stay with him. Or could I? Let it be decided as time goes by.

More later, as usual.

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