It will be a year tomorrow since she left this world. It’s weird to think about…what have I exactly done in that year? Life seems like a blur when it’s thought about…so many things have happened, but that phone call seems as if it happened just last month. But alas, it will be a year tomorrow. The plan is to have a normal day; go about work routines, get home, and get ready for Valentine’s day dinner with my boyfriend. Of course I am going to be thinking of her tomorrow, more than ever. I’m not sure that there has been a day that I did not think about her since she left this world. There may have been a few days here and there where she was completely off my mind…and when I think about the question of “What have you learned since? How have things changed since that day?”, the answer that comes to mind is that, although the existential crisis continued all through most of the year, life was lived to the fullest. Went on road trips, took another vacation, experimented sexually like never before, did not take any day for granted, and inhaled every single experience that I was able to create. That is her parting gift to me; that life is to be enjoyed with its fullest potential. Yes, fragments of the crisis still linger, but I have come out of this stage of my life stronger and with a deeper appreciation for experiences. The need for material possessions has vastly diminished. More emphasis has been placed on food, traveling, nature, peace, yoga, family, and friends.

It is a certainty that a range of emotions are going to be flowing through me tomorrow, but this is only normal. My anxiety over Valentine day’s dinner does not help the ocasion. In the end, everything is going to be ok. Tomorrow, frankly speaking, will just be another day. Thank you for making me learn that the lesson from your passing was to enjoy life to its fullest. Rest in peace, and let me be at peace.

Advertisements