Things are taking a turn down the “What is happening?” lane. Last week was one of the worst weeks I have had in a while…and the weekends? It’s very painful to recall the events. My boyfriend and I nearly broke up…and I felt so much pain and hurt…emotions that I hadn’t felt since my friend passed away last Valentine’s day. Fortunately, we were able to resolve our isues. Still, it was stressful and not pleasant.

Snow has finally begun to fall as it should during winter…although, we still have been having a “dry” season for a lack of better word. No matter how much I may detest the cold, I will never cease to enjoy the wintry sceneries after snow falls. Last night, after getting home, I stood outside for quite some time admiring the peace, stillness, and calm. Small snowflakes began to fall, and I deeply admired the white landscape in the cold, dark night. Moments such as these are precious and at times, rare. The hustle and bustle of life continues, but one must make sure to find oneself immersed in these moments of complete calm and stillness. That is one of the very few escapes that we have left from the turmoil of the world.

There is a rule that I have always put in place for myself: Never go back to previous jobs. Yet, here I find myself going for a meeting next Friday to plead my case and hope that they take me back. The situation at my current job has become unbearable. Hostile supervisors, unhappy co-workers, unrealistic expectations, broken operation systems, and maniacal agency leaders. This is not a place where I am going to be happy. Sure, I was not 100% happy at my previous job (are we ever?), but in contrast, it was a much better fit for me. The life and work balance was an aspect that I took for granted. I am going to do everything possible to make sure that they take me back. Wondering down the road of any other possibility is certainly not an option, and will not be considered.

This weekend is going to be my escape from the hell that is endured during the work week. But soon, it will be different…and so I pray. I continue to learn about life and people as I get older.

I did not go to my friend’s memorial. I suspect that my friend is highly annoyed with my decision not to go…but I stand by this decision and it was the best course of action. I did not want to relive any memories after having had a difficult week; and that is my right. I have not heard from her for an entire week. Some are saying that this is not a true friend. I concur; and so do my dreams. Last night, a dream took place in which a heated telephone call between us took place. It seemed very real…perhaps a projection of the future? Nevertheless, I will wait for contact.

Eagerly awaiting the end of the month; will be back to steady financial gains and no significant debts to be paid. After that, it should be a smooth journey into Spring, Summer, and to achieve my goals of eradicating debt completely from my name. The future looks exciting, but as always, uncertain.

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