More and more bullshit. Trying to modify my loan payments so I can save up faster and pay them off quicker.

S showed me an invitation to our dead friend’s memorial early in February. I can’t believe it’s already been a year since her passing…It feels like a time warp. Sad.

Work continues to be dull…the project is going to be picking up in the next month so they are scheduling more nonsense meetings…and I should like to say that my patience is running short. I shamelessly left early today.

The sun will not come out again until next Thursday, so say the outlets, but why believe them at this point? Like the news outlets, most of their predictions are lies.

Death continues to torment me….no, let it be clarified, the thought of death continues to torment me. I cried last night, but they were bittersweet tears for the beautiful moments that I spend with my family and friends…moments that are not eternal. But the best point of action is to avoid another existential crisis. This cannot be afforded at this time…nor at any time in the future.

Continuing to struggle with a tug of war to obtain insurance information, the staff are so unbelievably incompetent that it would bring me great satisfaction to fire them all, one by one. But that responsability belongs to the CEO. What a CEO indeed.

Have been thinking about grad school, but nothing truly awakes my passion. I know that I should have gone to fashion school, that is the only passion that I know could be turned into a paycheck. At the same time, part of me does not care that it is a completely materialistic way of life. It makes me happy, and if it is not hurting anyone, why should it be wrong? But I think that it is too late at this point. I have no financial means to do it…and this is not an excuse to not follow through, but merely stating of facts which explain why it is not possible. Looks like I am on my way to wasting life. But I won’t be the first, nor the last.

More bullshit to follow, surely. Trying to stay humored through it all.