Decided not to write a year in review entry. It was a terrible year and nothing good will come out of reliving all of its horror. No more mention of it, moving on.

Saving money has become an impossible task. It’s difficult to control spending…and this process is going to be delayed further. A final deadline has been set for September, to have enough saved up to finish loans and move into an apartment. The time has come, whether I like it or not. Feeling depressed at almost being 30 and not making enough money…the chance to complete mission life has given me has come and gone. It will never happen. So what now? What is the goal now that being wealthy will not happen? Traveling. I only work to get money, as S said, “We will never find a job we love, money is the main focus.” What a sad world. What a sad existence.

In any case, society continues to numb itself with day to day routines and cultures. No other goals this year besides getting rid of loans and attempting to live alone. Not even going to ask if it will be possible…just going to take a plunge and hope for the best. Isn’t that the only thing that we have? Hope? That’s what they tell us, anyway.

Work is extremely dull, so the task, for the moment, is to find something creative to do that is not work related and get paid for it. When the time comes to carry out the project, these lazy days will be yearned for. But at the same time, happiness will return because of being busy once more.

Some say that the end of the world is coming…with the change of command. Well, if it does, let it happen fast and painless. Not much else to be done.

Winter continues to berate everyone with its cruel cold. Nobody is happy about it…nor about the snow. Unsure of when the day will come, when I will no longer see or have to concern myself with the snow or the cold. Lately, the contemplation of moving into a rural state has crossed my mind…but I would be alone and life would radically change. The only place of choice would be Vermont. But, the winters are worse there…and my soul cannot take this weather. The worst of all…
So my partner wants to move to LA, but in a few years. Not going to take about this, as nothing in the future is certain. I could be dead tomorrow, and finally be released of all these complications. I have to hold back, because the promise was that there would be no more negativity this year.

The routine will continue, maybe a period of sacrifice will grant a lifetime of satisfaction. Here’s hoping…

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