Tomorrow will be late September, and it’s sad to think that life continues to pass by in a rush.

More mixed feelings about this relationship I am in…it feels like a weekly episode of bipolar disorder. It’s really difficult to even do yoga because my head continues to run no matter how many times I try to focus on my inner self.

This year, music has been a bigger influence on me than other years. Music is magic, but it has reached a level of transcendence within me. I am nearing 10,000 scrobbles on my last.fm…a true record, and that does not count the times that music was not able to be scrobbled because of technical difficulties.

A medium spoke of many changes today; changes that allegedly will ocurr within the next 4 months. A move to a different state. This has left me with struggling thoughts…but nevertheless, it is only a medium after all. Although, at times, I strongle believe in the predictions that are made. It all adds to the mysticism of the Universe. Yes, I believe in the mystic mysteries of life. There are no apologies on my end to the scientists. In any case, I don’t want to leave my boyfriend behind. I want to take him with me. This is my first mature relationship, and all disagreements aside, there is a sense within me, a strong one, that I have to nurture and look after him. People enter our lives for a reason, a purpose. This is a strong belief of mine.

Thoughts continue to come and go about my existence. It is far too odd to try to put it into words. There is still a feeling that the Universe has many surprises in store. Many will say that this is folly because there is so much chaos going on in the Universe (black holes, gamma rays, etc.), that it would be nonsense to think that it is catering to us humans. At the same time, there are paths to follow. What if life never ocurred? What then? This cannot be speculated about…a waste of time.

Although I gave up on the job search, two rejection emails arrived today. At times, I forget that I even applied to those places until the emails arrive. Comical. But the most comical and strange event took place today. An email arrived from a young lady stating that she recognized me from working at a temporary assignment in 2014 and that she saw my application for the agency she is in, and that she was reaching out to me unofficially to recommend me for another position that opened up which she thinks I am more suitable for. The odds of this happening are indeed incredible…yet, it has happened. Disbelief overcomes me, because happenings such as these add to the mystery of life and existence.

The artist FLUME continues to be an influencial figure to me. His new album contains songs that touch on the existentialist topics that I have been exploring this year. I highly recommend his latest work, it is truly a remarkable piece of art. This is not said often by me, but he is a true creative genious.

The rain drained me today…so off to rest and tomorrow, start over again. Until then.

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