I find myself depressed today and with few reasons to live for. I did decide to stay here and to save up enough to pay off my loans. I will be completely debt free. Still, I will not be rich. Why is it that this is my source of depression? I feel that it is in my destiny to be wealthy…after all, I was born into wealth before it was taken away. Not entirely sure why the Universe decreed this. But accepting it is key. Although I cannot accept dying a poor man. This is not to say that I am currently poor, but it would be very dishonoring not to achieve this dream. Feelings of dejection and hopelessness invaded me today upon receiving another rejection email from an employer. My fellow at work E was gracious enough to tell me that I should put faith in the Universe, and that I would feel proud of achieving a great job, a byproduct of rescilience, which comes through rejection.

Part of me misses sleeping around with any man that I want. But part of me does not miss this and wants to enjoy monogamy and affection. It is all complicated anyway.

Nothing much left to say because the depression impedes this. Another day, another few contacts that I delete from my phone. I simply do not care to keep in touch with people anymore, especially those who are not positive influences to me. Slowly but surely, I am closer to being alone. Dear Universe, come take me and craddle me in your arms, for this planet is not fit for my existence anymore.