I feel a sense of desperation. I want to move out of state, but I want to start to make more money at once. It would allow me to have more saved up and be in a better position to move. But I am also afraid because I don’t know how much I have left to live…they say that most of the things we worry about never happen. But there are no gurantees anymore. Every day is a struggle…I have no idea what to do with my life. I need to make a decision once the new year arrives.

I’m going on a date tonight, but I have absolutely no expectations. I have to let the person know that I want to leave the state relatively soon.

Officially getting sick of grindr; no amount of sex is worth the nonsense that I put up with on a weekly basis.

Off to Newport this weekend, once more. I wish I lived there in an eternal summer.

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