Therapy was needed today; and it went well. I spoke about dreaming something that is currently happening to a friend of mine whom I have not spoken to in months. When I told my friend about this she was shocked and amazed. What are the odds that I dream about her doing that specific activity? Quite remarkable if you ask me. We also spoke about my experiences with meditation and the strange happenings at my house. This part of the session ended with the brief discussion of the horror in Florida, and how 49 birds flew over one of the memorials. I truly believe that there is something beyond our imagining pulling the strings; whatever it may be. Why does that bother scientists so much? If the possibility of multiple Universes exists, what is so scandalous about a force that will be forever unknown to us? Their general skepticism annoys me.

Last night I found out why my friend never opened up to me; she perceived me as ungrateful, negative, and over dramatic with my problems of life. How unfortunate that I had to find this out as a result of her death. But, I am over this chapter of my life and I am ready to close it and move on. Let her rest in peace and let me be at peace. Amen.

I left work 2 and a half hours early today, but I still feel tired. I went to the grocery store and spent 43$ in just two bags of nonsense. I didn’t even buy real meals, just essentials for breakfast and lunch. I can’t imagine living on my own. This system is so broken…but I have to manage somehow. I won’t let the choice I made on my degree hold me back.

There was a big rabbit in my yard this evening and we had a moment where we stared at each other. I see God in nature and animals. Not a tradional God, but something beyond comprehension; a force that interconnects everything and everyone. Spirituality is important; it is needed.

I am growing tired of my job; I am sick of these families and their problems. I need something new…maybe I will stay here another year to save up enough money to move to Florida. I keep delaying my exist from this god forsaken state. But it is all for economic reasons. It makes no sense to stay here otherwise.

I continue to distance myself from certain people and to withdraw; I need it at this point. Let them reach out to me, and if they do not, I will be ok all the same.

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