I was violated last night…somewhat. I asked him to put on a condom and he did. But I noticed that he slipped it off after he was inside me for a few seconds. I should be shocked…but these things don’t shock me anymore. People simply don’t care for others. History is my witness.

I feel like such garbage…all I have been doing is having casual encounters. I don’t know why I am doing this to myself. I never saw myself doing this…I never thought that this would be me. But it is. It is happening.

I am fully aware what the risks are, and I think that I should come out of this ok. But there is always a “what if.” I’m so ready to just disappear.