I was able to talk to my counselor about spirituality, in more depth, for the first time. Even though I have read a lot of scientific articles about the beginning of life and how things work, I still believe in spirituality. I truly feel that there are many things that science is still not able to answer. There are a lot of experiences that people have reported that science may not be able to explain. Whether these events are phenomena or not, I cannot say. But at the end of the day, I truly believe in god; not a christian, jewish, or muslim god, but something else. I think that god is the driving force behind existence, the laws of physics, energy, and nature. Science does say that energy goes on in the universe, and there was a great quote that stated “You did not come into this world, you came from the world,” which I thought was very insightful. Everything is truly interconnected; I went to the zoo yesterday and was truly amazed at all the biodiversity and the natural characteristics of the animals. I do not think that life was just a coincidence; there is so much precision in living beings that, although I do agree that millions of years can contribute to this, there is a force behind this. Whether it’s the force of nature or something else, it is evident in living things that it exists. In regards to the after life, I do believe that energy goes on; mother Earth takes care of the rest. It is difficult and strange to try to grasp my mind around the concept of “nothingness” that they say will come in 5 billion years. But nevertheless, my findings, from readings online, indicate that through the centuries, nor science nor philosophy has a “satisfactory” answer in regards to how everything was before it all started.

I have also looked into existential psychology and therapy. I should be annoyed at some of the points that this field of study makes. I disagree with the point which states that the client is not special. I do believe that someone CAN be special. If I am walking down the street and I point to someone I don’t know, I will not think that this person is special. I don’t know them, and they don’t know me. They would not think that I was special either. But to their friends and family, that person is special. To my friends and family, I am special. That gives me a sense of purpose, and it could also give that person a sense of purpose as well. But what about someone without any friends or family? What if someone, because of any type of circumstance, has no friends and family? To whom is that person special to? They may not be special to anyone, not even to themselves. We would then have to ask what that person does. What do they do? What do they enjoy doing? If there are no answers to these questions, then that person may not be special at the moment, but they may have been in the past, or they could be in the future. If this isn’t the case, however, that person may really not be special, in which case, the existential psychologists are right. But, as stated before, I do think that a person has the potential to be special under the given conditions.

Even if I never find an answer to the questions that I have about life, I still believe that there is something happening which is beyond our understanding. I do not want to speculate; there are many beliefs and theories about life. I am on a journey to find my own, personal definition. I think that this is what matters in the end, for me anyway. It will be a good way for me to find peace from this existential crisis that I am going through. I think that my only criticism about science is that, at times, it attacks the beliefs of others. I know that life is full of suffering, and to many around the world, these beliefs bring them comfort, relief, and happiness. That should never be taken away from them.

My journey continues…

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