What kinda of garbage world do we live in where devils (because I can’t bring myself to call them people) feel the need and justification to kill others over an ideology? I should not be asking this question, because truthfully, it is one of the many follies of men. We can think back to all the massacres and atrocities through the ages…I need not name them. If we are conscious of all of these incidents, why should we act so shocked and horrified at these modern day attacks? Yes, it is valid to feel anger, disgust, sadness, and disillusionment when it comes to these acts of sickness. However, nothing should shock us anymore. Are these feelings of shock and anger a sign that we have forgotten barbaric acts of the past? This does not mean that one act is more significant than the other; but that we are so entangled in the struggle and drama of our own lives, that we forget that the past has happened. I, for one, do not believe that living in the past is a feasible option in carrying out the course of our lives. However, I do feel that it can serve as a useful tool so that we may not repeat what has already occurred in the past. Of course, there will always be deluded devils in the world whose minds are so deranged and broken that these acts are going to continue to occur. This is another reason that I do not want to bring children into this world; this place is so absolutely broken and so rampant with hate that I would feel a sense of deep sadness and regret for bringing an innocent and pure soul into this world. There is truly not much else to say about it other than during times such as these, the idea of living in nature, away from everything, is appealing and comforting.

Tomorrow I’ll go back to my day time job and pretend that none of these things are happening. Sadly, for me, there is no way to escape what is going on in the world. No matter how hard you try, information always seeps in. Whether you hear it from someone else or stumble upon it, there is no way to escape the horror that is happening.

I enjoy living the humble and calm life that I carry; I enjoy the small groups of friends and the quiet times during the weekends. There is no need for me to invest my energies into people that do not matter, nor going to places where I am not going to be forming meaningful and mature relationships with others. There is no need for me to feel sad about being a loner; it is a blessing that I have learned to embrace over the past few years. It brings solace to my mind to be aware of the fact that being a loner is something that makes me happy. Even when I am in the company of others whom I enjoy spending time with, at the end of the day, I want to be alone. I want to sleep alone in my bed, I want to be alone in my room, I want to be alone with my thoughts. It is said that being alone with one’s own thoughts is a trigger for over thinking or depression, however, I have learned to have a tighter grasp over my mind and control the train of my thoughts. It is certainly a difficult process, but one that brings happiness to my life, nonetheless. I guess I can say, with confidence, that being alone is something that I truly enjoy. I grow bored with the majority of people, and my mind seeks intense intellectual stimulation. This is a characteristic that not many people have. This results in my loneliness. But I admit, that it has given me plenty of  time to decipher whom exactly I want to spend time with; and what sort of characteristics a person must have in order to win the trust into my inner circle. I may be extremely selective, but this process provides me with the opportunity to truly surround myself with those who are able to make my life more interesting and stimulate me in the way that I enjoy. Of course, I am going to run into a rotten soul every now and then, but it is all a part of the process of finding those who are truly worthwhile.

Advertisements