One more month left of good summer, but I already feel like I’m kissing it goodbye. I’ve been thinking a lot the past two days. I think that at this point I can honestly say that even though I don’t know what I want to do with my life, at least I know my place in life. I don’t want to be a part of society. I don’t want to be like the sheep and materialistic people who live their lives trying to impress others. They buy things they don’t need just to show it off to other people. If that’s their way of feeling better about themselves, I feel sorry for them. I know this because I used to be like this. I wish that I saved my money when I was younger. Sadly, I spent it on so many things I didn’t need. But I’m glad I learned from this; it’s something that I can look back on and be grateful for the fact that I am no longer like this.
As I have said before, I don’t 100% condone drug use, but marijuana has really helped me see the world differently; in a good way. I am comfortable with being a loner. Yes, it does get lonely at times, but my friends are always there for me when I need to make conversation. I also feel lonely at times because I don’t have a “significant other”, but I hope that this happens to me. Apart from those two exceptions, I feel happy being a loner. The problem is that I was never bothered by being a loner, it was that I cared what society thought of it, but when you learn to not care about what anyone else thinks, you free yourself. I now avoid arguments with people, I wear whatever colors I want, and I express myself however I want. I would not have been able to do this a few years back. I was worried and afraid of what others might think; I was scared of society. Fortunately, for me, I have seen a way out. I do not consider myself a member of mainstream society; and I’m glad I don’t. I feel as though I am now in the minority of the world; the minority that sees this modern system for what it really is; a waste. This is because weed has helped me “wake up” from what I thought was real. I have come to find that the entire world I was fed was a lie; something that ultimately contributes to the slow decay of the system yet keeps it moving forward.

Do you know what the best feeling is? Realizing you are above and better than certain people. And you realize how much better your life actually is. I’m not saying that I’m special, but I do truly believe that behaviors show the world who we really are. We have to remember that a lot of people try to bring us down because our lives might be better than theirs. At 23, I feel like I have accomplished things. They may be small things in the greater scheme of life, but to me, they are important. I am not going to let anyone bring me down; for I know that I have had a better life at the age of 23, than some at the age of 50. I feel privileged, lucky, and grateful. I will not stoop low to other’s negativity, and I will not let anyone break me. I am at peace with myself, my mind is full of peace, understanding, and critical thinking. They cannot take this away from me; this is a permanent achievement.

I am happy that I have found my comfort zone; my inner peace. Some people waste their entire lives living it to impress others, trying to be something they are not, faking it, wasting their freedom away to please those around them…But I am happy and comfortable being a loner and ignoring the news, celebrity gossip, materialism, and mainstream “culture”. I am happy admiring nature, animals, and solitude. The fact that I have achieved this is a success in itself. Most people spend their entire lives trying to figure out where their place is, what makes them happy, or how to achieve that inner happiness. This is not to say that I am all set; I have so much to learn still, but I am happy that I have undergoing this great awakening and transformation at the age of 23. I am a spiritual being on a human journey, as the buddhists say.
The only obstacle that I face is not knowing what to do for a job. I haven’t found what I love to do, but I suspect that this may come in time. For now, I am basking in the happiness and exquisite satisfaction that comes in knowing that this really is a turning point in my life. I can actually feel the change happening within me and around me. I can feel my mind in mid transition; and I wish that more people around the world would undergo this change; for we would have a more peaceful society.

Advertisements