I don’t believe in karma anymore. I also don’t believe in superstition. Today I rear ended someone and obviously, that is always the fault of the rear ender.

 

I am so SICK of being so nice to people and being the sugar plum fairy everyone “is supposed to be.” I am SO sick of never doing anything BAD to ANYONE because of fear or karma. All I do is nice shit for people and nothing bad and this is how life repays me. Unfuckingbelievavable. Yeah there were no injuries and no major damage, but I don’t care.
Call me fickle, I don’t give a shit. This was not supposed to happen. Then again the whole “everything happens for a reason” is also DEAD to me. If was jaded before then I don’t know what you can call me now. It seems like every single fucking month SOMETHING has to happen. Go ahead and insult me, “That’s just life you need to suck it up and stop being a little bitch.” Whatever. I feel like complete shit. This week was supposed to be amazing, and today I was having a good day after I got out of class and I was so excited for things. I was going to go shopping for gifts for my boyfriend and maybe just one for myself and now this. Now I can’t spend money on anything anymore. I have to pay a fine, and I don’t know. Everything just seems so fucking pointless. I’m just so disappointed and disillusioned right now. It sucks. It fucking sucks. And yeah, it could have been a lot worse…but it also couldn’t have happened at all. I fucking hate other drivers and I fucking hate trucks. I’m so sick of humanity and just everything that is in the world. Sick and tired of it. I don’t even know what to believe in anymore. Why do bad things happen to good people and not bad people? I’ve SELDOM heard of bad things happening to bad people. But you always hear the opposite. People who are good always get fucked over, people who are happy always die young, while the bad people and the un-happy ones live on. Insult to injury.

Also, tomorrow I’m telling my counselor that counseling isn’t doing anything for me. Her methods and assignments don’t help me. Every single week the thoughts of over-worrying come back no matter what I fucking do.

I need to go away to the Tibetan mountains for a long fucking time and not deal with people/life anymore.

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